Summer Fun

As usual, Brice has a project going :) I believe this was prior to adding lights to the building and more cement.

In May Brice's family (the Simpson side) had a fun gathering. Great Grandpa had his lap full!

I'd hate for Will to be cooperative for a picture for once ;)

May 2014

It was a busy weekend while the Simpsons were home. It was also Gabbie's dance recital weekend. I was thinking she wasn't much interested for next year. However I have been told she wants to do "gymnastics only"

10:30 p.m. McDonalds after a weekend of family and dance recital makes for a cranky girl

After dance recital weekend we had Gabbie's field trip to the zoo and her last day of Begindergarten; on to Kindergarten next year! If she survives her shots that she needs to have in order to go :)

It was fun to compare this picture to the one from the first day of school in a previous post

Gabbie is kind of dominating this post so far! Here is little "Henni Penni" as Brice says. Sitting well in the Bumbo

Vacation Bible School program

He is changing sooo fast! He started eating cereal this month and likes to hear himself make noise! He also occasionally sleeps through the night

T-Ball time! She enjoys it more when they take the Tee away and pitch to the kids.

Gabbie is also staying busy this summer with the library program, which is focusing on science. Lots of fun projects~

No pictures of Will...I better work on that! Probably because he is going to be 3, which I find to be the most challenging age. Such a stubborn kiddo. He has no interest in toileting, although he seems to get the concept. He'll do well, then when we overload him with praise he just looks at us like "yeah, what's the big deal?" I'd love for him to do a couple mornings of preschool this fall. He can count to 12 and recognizes quite a few letters. But when given the choice of underwear or a diaper-he will almost always choose the diaper.

June has been busy, but such is summer. I've been disappointed to have so little time in the garden due to the rain. That's just how it goes I suppose! Last night we attended my 15 year class reunion. A conversation I had with a few former classmates has motivated me to finally write a paragraph about the last couple of months in our house...I hope in a couple more months to look back on this post and be glad its over, but we will see what time brings.

I had written previously about some of the minor complications after Henrik's birth. They seemed to linger for most of my maternity leave. Finally in my last couple weeks of being home Brice went with me to my physical which was supposed to take place at 6 weeks after birth. I think it was about 10 before I finally gave in to go. Brice doesn't typically go along to the doctor but he was sure I would not admit to anything on my own. The first question asked was how my mood had been; so Brice told him about my being depressed, sleepy, etc. I'd never had the 'post baby blues' before. I felt it was out of line to have them this time. We have 3 beautiful and healthy kids so what is there to feel depressed about? I disliked what I knew was coming, and it was the suggestion that I "take something". Well, no thanks. I'm already mad that I'm tired and can't lose weight, an anti-depressant would simply exacerbate both of those issues and I doubt that would help. I said I wanted to keep trying on my own but we'd call if it didn't get better. The doctor said to keep in mind "you have 3 kids, and of course hormones are not leveled out yet". I get that, just don't think it means I need to cry everytime I get in the car to go somewhere. Brice was persistent and asked that he check thyroid levels and hormone levels. Good that he was there, because I probably would have just left there more depressed that I couldn't handle 3 kids and wacky hormones. The doctor said "we can do that, but I really doubt anything will show up. I'm thinking just some relaxation time and getting back to adult interaction will help." So away we went, labs were done, and I figured they would he was right, they would all check out fine and I was just nuts and needed to work VERY hard to get back to normal. Fast forward a week; the labs did not come back normal. They thought it was the time of day, so I had to go in again another day first thing in the morning. Another week went by, and again the labs were not normal. Good thing each of those labs had to be sent to Mayo so cost $400 or so...ugh. So onto an endocrinologist we are supposed to go. Apparantly specialists are very busy as the first open appointment was a month away. But time does fly, and the appointment is this week finally. Of course while waiting for this appointment to be the 'magic fix', the month of June has been interesting in our house. I had trouble putting it into words until I talked to those classmates last night. One of them has become very successful at running and ran the Boston Marathon this past Spring. She has 3 kids and is a stay at home Mom with a husband who travels often for work. She said after her third "it wasn't like I wanted to drive in front of a semi truck; but it wasn't that I felt I had a purpose in this place either". She went on to say she had intense paranoia that her spouse was being unfaithful and would lose tons of sleep over it. I was floored; thanks to the social media times-mostly Facebook-everyone appears to have these beautiful families and everything put together so well, but its not always entirely true. My other friend said "first of all, I warned you that 3 was a game changer!" She's right, she did. She also stated her and her spouse struggled for a year. I loved this part-she said "the worst was I couldn't lose the last 10 pounds so my fingers were fat, and I'd get so mad I'd want to throw my wedding ring at him but I couldn't get it off!" We all agreed we never felt like hurting the kids (well...not as babies anyway ha ha). Just didn't feel like ourselves for various reasons. I felt so much better after that conversation. We all had doctors who had said the same thing "you're tired, 3 kids, blah blah" but a person knows how they should feel. I never understood depressed people before. I always thought a person should be able to 'snap out of it'. Its such an odd feeling to struggle to get enjoyment out of a good life; and I've learned its not a matter of snapping out of it.

So yeah, I guess that's that. I'm praying for some answers this week, and that my family can continue to tolerate me until things improve.

I do have to say it isn't all depressing. I get a good laugh when Will picks up his kid potty and throws it at me :) And I may be biased, but Henrik has been one of the absolutely best babies ever. He's smiley, content, and just plain good and even with the downs of the last couple months it has been a true blessing to have him join our family~

Henrik 1 month & 2 month

He's grown a bit! The significance of the blue hat: its the second hat I've ever knitted, and it was too big for him at birth (obviously). So I thought I'd take a picture of him every month until he grows into it, and just as an object to use as comparison and see how much he grows.

He has such a smiley personality! He is a bit more fussy in the evenings (more like a lot...possibly what I would refer to as 'cholicy' if I spelled that right). He's too big for the bassinette, which he only slept in a handful of times anyway. He sleeps so well on his stomach, but drives me crazy as he often buries his face down instead of turning his head to the side. His crib is in Will's room, so this week we'll get that ready and they can start sharing a room. I feel like Henrik will start sleeping through the night in the next few weeks, and if not I think Will sleeps hard enough that it won't matter.

Just 3 weeks left until we go back to 'regular' schedule and I return to my job at the hospital. Henrik has been going to daycare once a week instead of tagging along with me to the nursing home. So far so good I think! I'm happy I took such a chunk of time off because its been fairly busy. I am looking forward to the next few weeks and hopefully will catch up on some things (I noticed yesterday that Will's baby book is nearly blank....so I went back in the blog hoping to fill in a few things! Oops). I am looking forward to a fun summer. The kids will be home quite a bit thanks to Grandma's and a summer babysitter. We love their daycare, but its also nice when the kids get to be with each other and also get some farm time in with Dad (and not drag them out of bed in the morning to get to town...Gabbie is NOT a morning girl by any means!)

Happy Spring!

Meeting Aunt Mindy

Mindy came home May 7-11th so we got to enjoy some time with her!

Meeting the California girl at the airport

A rare hug from Will

First look at little Henrik

Bottled root beer! We love Hickory Park

The newest babies

Brice is 33....Gabbie is 5.5

Gabbie & I went to Storm Lake to check on Cool Catz Pottery. She made each Grandma something for Mothers Day...too bad we haven't been back up to pick up our finished items now that Mothers Day is done!

Henrik's shirt: "Daddy loves me more than Bacon" and Will's: "Handsome like Dad"

Now Gabbie can tell everyone she is 5 and a half, not just 5!

Half birthday present: a swimsuit! I was surprized she didn't remember trying it on last fall when we were raiding the clearance racks for summer clothes ;-)

Cheese! Will loves his chocolate

Henrik loves Uncle Charles :)

Gabbie decorated the cakes for Daddy's birthday

Will cleans up the crumbs with his loaders

Easter

Breda Easter Egg Hunt

Full basket!

Twilight Acres Easter Egg Hunt

Gabbie loved the Easter Bunny!

Will did not...he stood by the door to avoid the Bunny

Grandpa Rollie does not have a sour face here-he was chewing on some candy Gabbie had shared :)

Easter Bunny loot. Henrik-a book, Will-Thomas the Train tennis shoes, and Gabbie-the movie Frozen

With all the Grandparents for supper Easter evening

All cleaned up for church

2 more additions

We are enjoying our new dogs, Blue and Sheeba. I did not realize how much we had missed having a dog around! We did acquire them through unfortunate circumstances. However, we hope they are loving their home here just as much as their previous home. They are good with the kids, and I especially appreciate that they bark when someone has come onto the yard. I tried to get Blue to go jogging with me, but so far he stays put. Its probably confusing since we are yelling at him to stay any other time!

This is Blue

This is Will of course, worn out after playing outside all afternoon!

Gabbie, Will, and visitor Riley. My co-worker came for a visit and brought her grandson

Blue & Sheeba

The first of the breakdowns....

I have to start this entry out with a video that makes me smile :-)

Will is starting to enjoy the "Kids Dance" on the Wii. This video is probably funnier to me because I know the dance moves actually being done on the game, and he's actually not doing too bad!

And now for recent pictures...

Who doesn't eat pancakes in their underwear? With a diaper over the top? Then another pair of underwear?

My Great Grandma Iler holding Henrik, great grandchild #6! I was seeing some home clients so we stopped by their house for a lunch break. Grandpa says he'll wait until he's a bit older to hold him!

I love baby yawns...

Headed out and about, as usual! One of my co-workers has 4 kids and she said on her last maternity leave it was always her goal to have a day when they didn't have to go anywhere. I am seeing what she means! I can't complain; we'd be bored otherwise.

Morning bonding with Will's camera.

She gets very excited to help, then very quickly gets bored of it...

Henrik joined us outdoors for yard clean-up

Will is excellent (most of the time) at self entertaining. Here he is, crawling along the fence line of my garden, barking and roaring as he crawls after the cat. So intimidating. Too bad I hadn't taken the time to change him out of his church khaki's. I'm wondering if any of his clothes will make it to be handed down to Henrik? No wonder its harder to find boy clothing at the second hand store...it just doesn't survive.

We also had to go meet this great guy, Great Grandpa Simpson. I think this is great grandchild #6 on this side as well!

Now for the reason for this entry's title: 

Breakdown #1: March 28th. I was feeling gradually worse everyday since I had the baby. I could not figure out if I was 'overdoing', or maybe I was feeling down because I wasn't doing enough. I hadn't taken more than a short nap since the baby was born. I hadn't returned to any form of exercise. In fact, I still couldn't walk to the mailbox due to pain. Maybe everyone was right, the 3rd child makes things tough. Maybe just the body going through having the 3rd made things tough...however my grandmother had 10, and was 40 when she had the last one, so I wouldn't think the 3rd at age 32 would be so difficult. I was even having trouble producing much milk. I'd ask Brice what he thought, being the funny guy he is he'd just say "maybe you are just old". I was in Carroll this day to work a little bit, get the car serviced, and run some errands (I had it in my head all week I was going to make homemade laundry soap, so I was on a mission to get the ingredients). Anyway, sparing the gross details, something happened while the car was being worked on that made me think things weren't right. After the car was done I went to the store and sat in the parking lot debating a call to the doctor (I hate the idea of calling them and having nothing wrong and feeling foolish, plus wasting the money on the office visit). I called and left a message for a return call. In the meantime I was getting the things I needed in the store and a friend stopped to look at the baby. I knew something was wrong at this point because I was so irritated and wanted her to let us keep walking as I was in so much discomfort. The nurse called back and told me to come right in, so I did. I never have had high blood pressure at the doctor, until this day. Also had a fever (which I was told to monitor since I had a slight one in the hospital, and of course I never did). And next thing I knew the rest of the placenta was being removed in the office (they weren't for sure that it was that until the pathology report came back the next week). I was told that would give me relief, but to be prepared for a d&c the following week. I was given 2 antibiotics. By Sunday I was feeling like a million dollars. The doctor called over the weekend to check, and again on Monday at which point I felt so good that there was no need to return. By that Wednesday all the side effects of the antibiotics started kicking in and I was having plenty of stomach pain. So, off the antibiotics and just monitor the symptoms of the infection. Finally this week I am feeling normal. In hindsight it was nice to feel a little crappy as it forced me to just let the house cleaning and laundry be and snuggle in the recliner with the baby....however the older 2 were getting a little ticked off that I wasn't playing anything with them. Kind of hard to enjoy frisbee when I couldn't even stand up long enough to cook supper. I have been told by several people that those kind of infections can lead to not so great things, like a hysterectomy. I didn't ask the doctor too many questions about 'what if'; he had just said if I had waited through the weekend it would have been a 'bad situation' by Monday, whatever that means. I'm just happy to feel better!

Breakdown #2: April 6th. The downside of feeling better? There is a million things I want to get done and I want them done yesterday! I had started a small 'to do while on maternity leave' list. 4 weeks in and I had nothing done. I'm usually behind on lot of things. But I suddenly had a feeling of being buried under a never ending pile. Part of it was work related; the beginning of the month means paperwork, etc is due. Part of it was housecleaning/laundry related. I am a much better person when the house is as least picked up and the laundry is contained in a couple baskets. The rest was just stupid: I wanted the basement clean so I could go back to exercising-I swam throughout most of the pregnancy so my usual workout space is a dusty mess. I wanted the yard cleaned up. I had 2 boxes of magazines that I had been meaning to go through. My desk was messy looking and unorganized. Thank goodness I had finished painting stuff in the house or I would have used that as a reason to be stressed. Poor Brice got the brunt of it (he really doesn't care if the house is clean, so never understands when I get moody about it). Of course I couldn't just relax and "do what needs done", I had to freak out that this is the way life is now with 3 kids and the house is doomed to be a total disaster and I'm going to be one of those Mom's whose children just pull their laundry out of the dryer because I'll never have time again to fold it and put it away. And because of this feeling of being so far behind I was feeling like I was neglecting the kids and not enjoying them.

Geez. Time to regroup. First of all, get rid of the box of Time magazines that I keep 'meaning' to read-the news is old and I only bought it to contribute to a fundraiser anyway. So those went to the recycling. So did the other box, which included all the Better Homes and Gardens and Parenting magazines I'd been meaning to read. If I need to know about it I'll look it up on the Internet. I've never gotten much out of either magazine other than things that I don't have enough time or money for anyway. I organized my desk, even added a few things to Henriks baby book :-) I picked up around the house, today got the laundry caught up, made some homemade bread. I finally feel back to having things in their place...not like they would be if there weren't 3 kids in the house, but in place enough. I started exercising, which apparantly was causing a chunk of the stress as I felt much better after that. I signed up to assist coaching Gabbie's T-ball team this summer, and I get to help with the town Easter egg hunt next weekend. The nice weather has also helped a TON. It just feels awesome to have the windows open, and to sit outside with the kids. Will and I had a nice long session today of playing tractors, Gabbie and I read her "chapter" book as she calls it, and I started my mission of cleaning the basement. And the wonderful, supportive Brice says "now all the stars are aligned perfectly" :-) They sure are! In a few days I was able to tackle quite a bit as well as enjoy visits from a couple co-workers.

Tomorrow Henrik will be 1 month old. Hopefully I will find some creative way to take a picture and can post that later on~

Also will include some pictures of the other 2 new members of the family, Blue and Sheeba. Its nice to have a dog (or two) around again!